Clár ábhair
Standing up for your rights and demanding respect for yourself is a behavior that speaks of a strong character. But some go too far, demanding special treatment. This bears fruit, but not for long — in the long run, such people may remain unhappy.
Ar bhealach éigin, bhí físeán de theagmhas ag an aerfort le feiceáil ar an nGréasán: éilíonn paisinéir go géar go ligfeadh fostaithe aerlíne é ar bord le buidéal uisce. Tagraíonn siad sin do na rialacha a chuireann cosc ar leachtanna a iompar leat. Ní chúlaíonn an paisinéir: “Ach tá uisce naofa ann. An bhfuil tú ag moladh dom an t-uisce naofa a chaitheamh uait?” Tagann an t-aighneas ar stad.
Bhí a fhios ag an bpaisinéir go raibh a iarratas i gcoinne na rialacha. Mar sin féin, bhí sé cinnte gur dó féin ba cheart do na fostaithe eisceacht a dhéanamh.
Ó am go chéile, tagann muid ar fad trasna ar dhaoine a dteastaíonn cóireáil speisialta uathu. Creideann siad go bhfuil a gcuid ama níos luachmhaire ná am daoine eile, ní mór a gcuid fadhbanna a réiteach ar an gcéad dul síos, tá an fhírinne i gcónaí ar a taobh. Cé go gcuidíonn an t-iompar seo leo a mbealach a fháil go minic, féadfaidh frustrachas a bheith mar thoradh air ar deireadh thiar.
Ag tnúth le omnipotence
“You know all this, you saw that I was brought up tenderly, that I never endured cold or hunger, I did not know the need, I did not earn bread for myself and in general did not do dirty work. So how did you get the guts to compare me to others? Do I have such health as these «others»? How can I do all this and endure? — the tirade that Goncharovsky Oblomov utters is a good example of how people who are convinced of their exclusivity argue.
Nuair nach gcomhlíontar ionchais neamhréadúla, mothaímid doicheall domhain—ar ár ngaolta, an tsochaí, agus fiú ag an gcruinne féin.
“Is minic a fhásann daoine den sórt sin aníos i gcaidreamh siombóiseach lena máthair, agus iad timpeallaithe ag cúram, agus bíonn siad i dtaithí ar a mianta agus a riachtanais a chomhlíonadh i gcónaí,” a mhíníonn an síceiteiripeoir Jean-Pierre Friedman.
“During infancy, we feel other people as part of ourselves,” says child psychologist Tatyana Bednik. — Gradually we get acquainted with the outside world and understand that we have no power over it. If we’ve been overprotected, we expect the same from others.»
Clash leis an réaltacht
“She, you know, walks slowly. And most importantly, he eats every day.” Claims in the spirit of those that one of the characters in Dovlatov’s «Underwood Solo» made against his wife are typical of people with a sense of their own chosenness. Relationships do not bring them joy: how is it, the partner does not guess their desires at a glance! Unwilling to sacrifice his ambitions for them!
Nuair nach gcomhlíontar ionchais neamhréadúil, mothaíonn siad an-domhan - i leith muintire, an tsochaí ina hiomláine, agus fiú an cruinne féin. Tugann síceolaithe faoi deara go bhféadfadh daoine reiligiúnacha a bhfuil tuiscint ar leith acu ar a n-eisiachtacht fearg a chur ar an Dia a gcreideann siad ann go dian mura dtugann sé, dar leo, an méid atá tuillte acu dóibh.1.
Cosaintí a choinníonn tú ó bheith ag fás aníos
Is féidir le díomá bagairt a dhéanamh ar an ego, rud a chruthaíonn ocras uafásach, agus níos minice imní gan aithne: “Cad é mura bhfuilim chomh speisialta.”
The psyche is arranged in such a way that the most powerful psychological defenses are thrown to protect the individual. At the same time, a person moves further and further away from reality: for example, he finds the cause of his problems not in himself, but in others (this is how projection works). Thus, a dismissed employee may claim that the boss «survived» him out of envy of his talent.
It is easy to see in others signs of exaggerated conceit. It’s harder to find them in yourself. Most believe in life justice — but not in general, but specifically for themselves. We will find a good job, our talents will be appreciated, we will be given a discount, it is we who will draw a lucky ticket in the lottery. But no one can guarantee the fulfillment of these desires.
Nuair a chreidimid nach bhfuil aon rud i gcomaoin ag an domhan orainn, ní bhrúimid ar shiúl, ach glacaimid lenár dtaithí agus mar sin forbraimid athléimneacht ionainn féin.
1 J. Grubbs et al. «Teidlíocht Trait: Foinse Cognaíoch-Pearsantacht de Leochaileacht i leith Anacair Shíceolaíoch», Feasachán Síceolaíochta, 8 Lúnasa, 2016.